Self-Esteem and Other People
Sometimes gymnasts can feel threatened by other people’s success. It is our job to show them that this is not necessary. But in order to do this, we need to stress (and not stress) specific things.
For instance, telling a gymnast that all we want her to do in gymnastics is to have fun, but then only reward those who win a meet or achieve a certain score so the team wins, is inconsistent and insincere. Some gymnasts and parents have reported that that their coaches ignore gymnasts who do not live up to these silent (or not so silent) expectations.
What we say and what we do as parents and coaches must match.
Our job as parents and coaches is to reward our gymnasts who make goals and work everyday to reach them. We need to reward honest effort and hard work, whatever the outcome may be in one meet or in practice.
This can be done by focusing on the individual putting in the effort, versus focusing on the team result. If we work as parents and coaches to develop the individual athlete, then the team will come. With individuals first, we will have a group of strong individuals coming together for a common goal, rather than a group of people vying for their coach’s attention.
At TGC, we do not make comparisons skill-wise and score-wise with gymnasts. Instead, everything is focused on improving individual skill and ability, as well as individual self-esteem, and developing life lessons.
The sport’s governing body and judges have a lot to do with this. By establishing a scoring criteria that requires perfection at the lowest levels of competition in order to place in a meet, and by placing their emphasis on conformity (i.e. compulsory vs. optional gymnastics), the governing body and judges dictate how gyms run their programs in order to be viewed “successful.”
If the root of the rules we follow support and celebrate the individual gymnast, then coaches and gyms have a better opportunity to focus on the individual (the process) rather than the team’s end result.
I would argue that to a parent, no one is as important to them as their own child (their gymnast in this case). I believe that parents want their gymnasts to develop into strong, independent, and confident young women. I believe that parents would appreciate a program that puts the members who make up the team (their own children) above the team itself.
By concentrating on the individual first, coaches can better develop the entire athlete, give them a chance to have fun, allow them to make their own goals, and also develop a strong team. Teammates will not be pitted against one another, and resentment will not build among the gymnasts.
They can truly become teammates, be genuinely happy for one another, and be a group of individuals with healthy self-esteem working together to reach a common goal.
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