Self-Esteem Must Be Developed Over Time

As coaches, we sometimes wonder why we just can’t get it into a gymnast’s head that she can do something. I know I’ve been there.

Throughout my journey in personal development and success books, I have found that, stated succinctly by Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, that self-esteem is not “a gift we have to claim…On the contrary, its possession over time represents an achievement.” Self-esteem ebbs and flows over a lifetime. I think we all can think of a time when our self-esteem was low, as well as a time it was at a peak.

This idea indicates that we as coaches and gym owners (and parents!) need to keep this in mind. Seeking healthy and high self-esteem in our gymnasts is more of the process of climbing the mountain rather than a mountain peak to summit.

Over time, we need to create a conducive atmosphere to developing a high self-esteem. We need to nurture its growth and provide the tools necessary for self-esteem to develop.

How?

First, we must make our environment a place where it is good to learn from mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable throughout life, and the ability to bounce back after a mistake is a sign of high self-esteem. If we create an atmosphere where mistakes are intolerable, then our gymnasts cannot learn that they actually learn when they make mistakes. This teaches them to take risks and bet on themselves, in turn, creating a higher self-esteem.

Secondly, our environment must be one of mutual respect. Living the Golden Rule is a good place to start. As a coach, I need to treat my athletes the way that I would like to be treated — with respect. If I treat my athletes with respect, then they will come to understand that they deserve respect, even from adults, and they will have a higher self-esteem as a result.

Thirdly, we must create an atmosphere of integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be clear with expectations. If you don’t explain something well enough, don’t yell at a kid for not understanding. Admit your mistakes and correct them. Expect the same from your gymnasts.

These are just a few ways that coaches can create an atmosphere conducive to creating high-self esteem athletes.