The Signs of Low Self-Esteem
According to Nathaniel Branden’s The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, there are a few tell-tale signs of low self-esteem. I would argue that gymnastics coaches see these signs everyday in the gym. We need to be on the lookout so we can help our gymnasts with the tools they need to work on improving how they view themselves.
“Low self-esteem seeks the safety of the familiar and undemanding.” When we see a gymnast who constantly does what she is comfortable doing and doesn’t go out of her way to improve or get a higher skill, even though she clearly can do it, then her self-esteem needs work. Even though this gymnast may be very good at the level that she is, she has more potential and is not necessarily using it. If we have a gymnast like this, we must talk to them, and get them to understand that although it might be scary, she can do the next step. She is ready. If we put in the effort to get her to believe that we believe in her, then she may put in the effort to go for it, increasing her self-esteem along the way.
“The lower our self-esteem the more urgent the need to ‘prove’ ourselves…” I’m sure just about every coach has had the gymnast who needs to show off, go out on the limb and do her skill on the highest beam or the tallest bar, even if she isn’t physically ready by our standards (or by safety standards). This is a red-flag indicator that she is overcompensating for a lower self-esteem, and we need to spend some extra time with her, letting her know that gymnastics is individual, and she will be ready when she is ready.
“The lower our self-esteem, the more muddy, evasive, and inappropriate our communications are likely to be, because of uncertainty about our own thoughts and feelings and/or anxiety about the listener’s response.” As coaches, we’ve all had the kid who responds “no” when we ask if she’s scared, or “I don’t know” (or just a shoulder shrug) when we ask what is wrong. They are not sure that communicating their answer will result in a positive reaction, so they are reticent to communicate. Or they don’t want to verbalize it because they don’t want their answer to be real. Whichever the case, their self-esteem needs some nurturing.
These are just a few indicators of low self-esteem. In a gymnastics setting, multiple gymnasts may exhibit multiple indicators, and a single gymnast may exhibit multiple indicators. Regardless, it is a coach’s job to be on the lookout and to help her and give her the tools she needs to address the issue and help build her self-esteem back up.
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